The first born in a family has a firm spot, they are the oldest child, their place cannot be taken away. They are secure in their status in the heirarchy of the family. If no other children are born into the family, they are also the youngest child. Their spot cannot be taken away - they will always be the oldest.
The youngest child for now, the child that will be the youngest until another one appears, doesn't have a firm spot. They can be replaced by another child at any time making them the middle child.
As children, the middle child always seemed to be the most versatile. They had the ability to play with younger children and were just as comfortable playing with older children. They always seemed to fit in. The middle children I know appear to take the best of both the oldest and the youngest and go on their merry way. They don't depend on their status in the heirarchy of the family, they depend on themselves.
Middle children have their own interest, not being dependent on either the youngest child or the oldest child's approval or acceptance. They do not display the neediness of their younger sibling - they probably wouldn't get the attention anyway - nor the security of the older sibling. I have noticed that middle children are normally more introverted than either of their siblings being more shy and quieter. Okay, I must admit I have limited experience with the middle child and I am writing strictly from my experience.
As adults, the middle children that I have observed are very stable, resolute in their beliefs, and are responsible, but do not share their feelings well with others and tend to let stress build to an unhealthy level. If they have been raised in a tumultuous household, they seek peace and quiet and do not welcome outside influences that are not in agreement with their beliefs.
I would like to hear from middle children. Are my observations in line with the way you feel about yourself? What kind of problems do you experience in your household as the middle child? How do you handle conflict with your siblings? Do you feel you are treated equally with your siblings?
Let me know your thoughts.
Happy reading!
Belle
Friday, March 19, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Siblings
What is a sibling?
A sibling is that brat of a sister that has to tell on you for every little thing - like throwing pencils at the ceiling hard enough for them to stick.
A sibling is that brat of a brother that makes faces at you while you talk to your best friend on the phone until you say a nasty word and then runs to mom to tattle.
A sibling is that sneaky brother who stole your last cookie when you ran to the bathroon.
A sibling is that lazy sister who only half dries the dishes claiming she doesn't feel good and then you have to finish the job alone.
A sibling is that person or persons that you grow up with that somehow knows all you secrets, all the times you have gotten a smacking, well, everything about you and love you anyway.
As children, siblings (the brothers and sisters of a household) are your worst nightmare and your worst enemy even though you can play for hours on end together without the first cross word and then an adult comes into the picture and everything changes.
There has been rivalry between siblings since Cain and Abel. (Genesis 4:1-16) Relationships between brothers and sisters are very special and cannot be encroached upon by outsiders, especially not parents. I remember doing something that my sister ran to tell my mother after which I can a good tanning. That night as we were trying to go to sleep, my sister said to me "I didn't want you to get a spanking." Give me a break! If you didn't want me to get a spanking, you would have kept your mouth shut! I can look back on many of those spankings as a result of my sister's tattling with a smile on my face and then there are those that I still want to pinch her for.
The rivalry between siblings is normally a desire for the acceptance. attention, love or affection of their parents. A daughter quietly reading with her mom notices her brother playing scrabble with their dad. Regardless of how content the daughter is cuddling with her mom, there is nothing she wants more than to be playing scrabble with her dad - not her brother and her dad - just her dad. I have noticed this quest for attention is normally instigated by the younger child. I call it the "catch up syndrone". The younger child is trying to catch up with all the attention the older child received before they were born. Of course, you have to remember, I am the oldest child so my views may not really convey the thoughts behind the actions of a younger child.
As the older child, I resented that little bundle that now occupied my mother's and father's time and attention. Of course that little wrinkled pink thing was cute, but what is it good for but to cause my parents to have no time for me? The little pink thing had to be fed or it would cry, it had to have its diaper changed or it would cry, it had to be rocked or it would cry - good grief, I do believe that is where the term cry baby originated. Now, everything was focused on that crying little pink thing and it could not even go to potty by itself.
It was a time of insecurity and uncertainty, but in no time that passed and I gained a friend to make mud pies with, pick berries with, ride bicycles with, gather the first flowers of spring, and soon she was in the back seat cheering me on as I learned to drive. It wasn't long before I was shuttling her and her friends to first one place and then another and by that time, all the disagreements and entanglements faded way into the background and were soon forgotten.
It may seem as if you and your sibling will never be friends, that you would never even like your sibling. But even those mean, hateful, tattletale, eavesdropping, selfish brothers or sisters will one day be your friend and you too will forget all the "bad stuff".
So, the next time your sister snatches the remote and runs to hide, just smile. You know you love her and she loves you or she wouldn't be trying to get your attention.
Matthew 18:2-4 NIV
"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the knigdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Hug your brother or sister today and if that is too hard, just give them a smile - sometimes it isn't what is said that is important, it is those things left unsaid.
Happy Reading!
Belle
A sibling is that brat of a sister that has to tell on you for every little thing - like throwing pencils at the ceiling hard enough for them to stick.
A sibling is that brat of a brother that makes faces at you while you talk to your best friend on the phone until you say a nasty word and then runs to mom to tattle.
A sibling is that sneaky brother who stole your last cookie when you ran to the bathroon.
A sibling is that lazy sister who only half dries the dishes claiming she doesn't feel good and then you have to finish the job alone.
A sibling is that person or persons that you grow up with that somehow knows all you secrets, all the times you have gotten a smacking, well, everything about you and love you anyway.
As children, siblings (the brothers and sisters of a household) are your worst nightmare and your worst enemy even though you can play for hours on end together without the first cross word and then an adult comes into the picture and everything changes.
There has been rivalry between siblings since Cain and Abel. (Genesis 4:1-16) Relationships between brothers and sisters are very special and cannot be encroached upon by outsiders, especially not parents. I remember doing something that my sister ran to tell my mother after which I can a good tanning. That night as we were trying to go to sleep, my sister said to me "I didn't want you to get a spanking." Give me a break! If you didn't want me to get a spanking, you would have kept your mouth shut! I can look back on many of those spankings as a result of my sister's tattling with a smile on my face and then there are those that I still want to pinch her for.
The rivalry between siblings is normally a desire for the acceptance. attention, love or affection of their parents. A daughter quietly reading with her mom notices her brother playing scrabble with their dad. Regardless of how content the daughter is cuddling with her mom, there is nothing she wants more than to be playing scrabble with her dad - not her brother and her dad - just her dad. I have noticed this quest for attention is normally instigated by the younger child. I call it the "catch up syndrone". The younger child is trying to catch up with all the attention the older child received before they were born. Of course, you have to remember, I am the oldest child so my views may not really convey the thoughts behind the actions of a younger child.
As the older child, I resented that little bundle that now occupied my mother's and father's time and attention. Of course that little wrinkled pink thing was cute, but what is it good for but to cause my parents to have no time for me? The little pink thing had to be fed or it would cry, it had to have its diaper changed or it would cry, it had to be rocked or it would cry - good grief, I do believe that is where the term cry baby originated. Now, everything was focused on that crying little pink thing and it could not even go to potty by itself.
It was a time of insecurity and uncertainty, but in no time that passed and I gained a friend to make mud pies with, pick berries with, ride bicycles with, gather the first flowers of spring, and soon she was in the back seat cheering me on as I learned to drive. It wasn't long before I was shuttling her and her friends to first one place and then another and by that time, all the disagreements and entanglements faded way into the background and were soon forgotten.
It may seem as if you and your sibling will never be friends, that you would never even like your sibling. But even those mean, hateful, tattletale, eavesdropping, selfish brothers or sisters will one day be your friend and you too will forget all the "bad stuff".
So, the next time your sister snatches the remote and runs to hide, just smile. You know you love her and she loves you or she wouldn't be trying to get your attention.
Matthew 18:2-4 NIV
"He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the knigdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven."
Hug your brother or sister today and if that is too hard, just give them a smile - sometimes it isn't what is said that is important, it is those things left unsaid.
Happy Reading!
Belle
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